Today is Multicultural Monday! This is the first of a weekly multicultural blog hop geared toward individuals who want to share a piece of their multicultural life with the rest of us. Join in by writing up a post about something multicultural (this week’s topic is INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS) and adding your post url to the link up below! Find all the future multicultural blog hop posts here.
Today, I was reading an interesting article on interracial dating and how stereotypes can sometime affect your racial preferences. This is something I think about a lot. Not really because it affects my husband and myself personally, but because we’ve met many interracial couples since being together and it seems that stereotypes do play a role in some individuals’ personal preferences. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I only date blank women/men” and I often wonder, why? Why do you prefer one over there other?
Ultimately, I think that people can make the choice to have preferences that are based on race, which are often inaccurate, or they can choose to select for preferences that are based on more sensible qualities, like spirituality, commitment level, ethnic background, language or social expectations.
My family used to ask me all the time, “Why him? Why not a white guy?” and I think the truth is that it wasn’t a choice between “white” or “mexican”. The choice came down to the unwritten expectations that I had for my future husband and the future father of my children. I had my virtual checklist made up and my family was upset that I deviated, but ultimately, your mental checklist isn’t the one that matters…because somewhere deep inside, in a very spiritual place, you know exactly what you need.
If my mom could have had things her way, I would have married a…
- …white guy
- …doctor, lawyer, money-making type
- …man who slipped right into our daily routine without any adjustment on my family’s part
- …perfect gentleman who would always agree with his MIL (mother-in-law)
- …man who would solve all of our problems and appear “perfect” to outsiders
In reality though, these things weren’t really what I needed and they wouldn’t have helped my family in any way that really mattered. My relationship with my husband, however, has given nearly every individual in my family a greater appreciation for Latinos. Minus a few haters, we’ve changed the standard “Mexican” image that lurks in their minds. My husband is far from any stereotype and should be an example to all that they are incorrect and often dangerous misjudgments.
Ultimately, I need a man who valued family, who had a strong desire to help others, who leaned toward community service and giving back, who didn’t judge others by race or creed (sometimes harder for a white guy) and who had something interesting to share.
One thing I can say about my hubby, and it may be partly because he’s not white, is that his life, his culture, his language…all of it is more interesting than your average, run-of-the-mill lifestyle…and that’s a lot of what attracted me to him too. The difference. I love learning something new everyday that I’m with him. I love that he’s expanding my horizons…and I love that I can do the same for him.
Do you have a story to share? Join in and link up below! You can add your link anytime between now and Sunday. :)
© 2012, Chantilly Patiño. All rights reserved.