Today is Multicultural Monday! This is the first of a weekly multicultural blog hop geared toward individuals who want to share a piece of their multicultural life with the rest of us. Join in by writing up a post about something multicultural (this week’s topic is INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS) and adding your post url to the link up below! Find all the future multicultural blog hop posts here.
>> HOW TO JOIN IN ON MULTICULTURAL MONDAYS <<
Today, I was reading an interesting article on interracial dating and how stereotypes can sometime affect your racial preferences. This is something I think about a lot. Not really because it affects my husband and myself personally, but because we’ve met many interracial couples since being together and it seems that stereotypes do play a role in some individuals’ personal preferences. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I only date blank women/men” and I often wonder, why? Why do you prefer one over there other?
Ultimately, I think that people can make the choice to have preferences that are based on race, which are often inaccurate, or they can choose to select for preferences that are based on more sensible qualities, like spirituality, commitment level, ethnic background, language or social expectations.
My family used to ask me all the time, “Why him? Why not a white guy?” and I think the truth is that it wasn’t a choice between “white” or “mexican”. The choice came down to the unwritten expectations that I had for my future husband and the future father of my children. I had my virtual checklist made up and my family was upset that I deviated, but ultimately, your mental checklist isn’t the one that matters…because somewhere deep inside, in a very spiritual place, you know exactly what you need.
If my mom could have had things her way, I would have married a…
- …white guy
- …doctor, lawyer, money-making type
- …man who slipped right into our daily routine without any adjustment on my family’s part
- …perfect gentleman who would always agree with his MIL (mother-in-law)
- …man who would solve all of our problems and appear “perfect” to outsiders
In reality though, these things weren’t really what I needed and they wouldn’t have helped my family in any way that really mattered. My relationship with my husband, however, has given nearly every individual in my family a greater appreciation for Latinos. Minus a few haters, we’ve changed the standard “Mexican” image that lurks in their minds. My husband is far from any stereotype and should be an example to all that they are incorrect and often dangerous misjudgments.
Ultimately, I need a man who valued family, who had a strong desire to help others, who leaned toward community service and giving back, who didn’t judge others by race or creed (sometimes harder for a white guy) and who had something interesting to share.
One thing I can say about my hubby, and it may be partly because he’s not white, is that his life, his culture, his language…all of it is more interesting than your average, run-of-the-mill lifestyle…and that’s a lot of what attracted me to him too. The difference. I love learning something new everyday that I’m with him. I love that he’s expanding my horizons…and I love that I can do the same for him.
Do you have a story to share? Join in and link up below! You can add your link anytime between now and Sunday. :)
© 2012, Chantilly Patiño. All rights reserved.
Thank you for this post!! Very interesting read
@Holly Garza Thanks Holly. Glad you stopped by! :) I’m thinking on a topic for next week…maybe you can join us. ;)
Ah dang! I was hoping to be the first one, but someone else beat me to it. Guess I will have to go check her out. Thanks again Chantilly for the opportunity!
Haha…well, I was kind of late getting started this week. Next week I’ll promote more ahead of time so you know in advance. ;)
What a great blog hop! Thanks for hosting, I will definitely try to participate every week. Please come by my blog and read about my very multicultural family LOL.
Blanca, thanks for stopping by! :) I read your post and I love hearing about your experiences living abroad! I have never had lived abroad, but my husband and I are hoping to visit Spain and Mexico in the near future. I’m looking forward to reading more about Catalunia on your blog. :)
Great post Chantilly! What a wonderful blog hop! I can’t wait to participate!
@Me and the Mexican Thanks Tara! I’m excited for you to jump in too! The linky will be open until Sunday if you want to add something…otherwise, we’ll catch you next Monday! ;)
Exciting! I don’t have a livefyre account (yet) but I wanted to say that I just found your blog through a reference from an acquaintance today. I am very excited to read some of it and share. It looks like you and I are going through some similar realizations on life from being in an intercultural relationship, though I picked my brownie from the Asian lineup. I will definitely be writing something up soon for this feature because it’s so hard being in an intercultural relationship sometimes and I made it my goal 2 years ago to be a voice for those going through this and help them understand so many things about the various cultures and life in a bicultural home.
Everybody says there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries. The Netherlands and Belgium are just as crowded as Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them. Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites. What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries? How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem? And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this? But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree that I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews. They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white. Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.
I am a white lady in a relationship with a indian guy. At firts i went through hell with my family because of it. We did not speak for a year. Now they learned to accept it because im with him 5years and it is still going strong. The problem is that his parents doesn’t approve of us and is doing everything in their power to break us apart. I just feel that they must worry about their own life and not interfere with their sons personal life.